just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
It's just like the Real World with babies
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
