i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize