haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
