I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
