Got a toothbrush?
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
