And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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