found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
