Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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