Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
this just has baby written all over it
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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