I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize