Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Apparently you make a good broom.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
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