it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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