Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
