so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
