I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
tequila makes me forget i have legs
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
