He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
