I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize
