Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
