Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize