What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
