how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Randomize
