yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
