Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
