I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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