break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
They are going to name an STD after you.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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