one two three fourrrrnication!
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
