Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
