rhymes with "ouble enetration"
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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