It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize