and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
