He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
