my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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