he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
