my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize