i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I have feelings that need drinking.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
