Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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