Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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