Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
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