Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
