I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
