I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
