sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
