it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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