I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
