Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
