Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
