My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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