i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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