ya dads aren't the best wingmen
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize