i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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