btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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