At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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