You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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