At least make sure they are 18
Why
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
