Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I smell like Dick and happiness
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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