i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
