my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize
